Oh my boys.
My ravenous, loud, stinky, dirty, curious, loyal, dramatic, ravenous boys.
As a momma to two of the most boyish boys that have ever been invented, my girl perspective is constantly needing some fine tuning.
If not kept in check, the girl part of my brain can perceive my boys’ rough and silly behavior as something that needs to be changed. As something frustrating or inconvenient…to me.
When I send Rudy outside to fetch something for me real quick and he returns with a bucket of ants and a thousand questions, a surge of frustration often overwhelms my ability to be gracious. I all too often assign my sons’ non-sinful boyish behavior as sin.
But the truth is, my boys are “fearfully and wonderfully made.” (Ps. 139) When God formed them and shaped their personalities, he placed in them a love for adventure, for taking risks, for exploration. And these qualities do not always manifest themselves “properly” in a 3 – and 4 – year-old…but that’s ok.
My boys need grace as they figure out what it is that they love…even especially as they “mess up” in the process. Mud will be tracked in. Rough-housing will get too rough. Questions will be asked…and asked…and asked. 🙂
Here are 5 things about my boys that – at first glance – seem like character flaws worth changing. But really, they are qualities worth championing.
1. Rough-Housing
My boys think that wrestling, throwing punches, running from Daddy, attacking Daddy, and throwing themselves from furniture is fun.
???
I will never wrap my brain around that one, BUT that love for thrill, that disdain for danger, that love for the fight could serve them well one day.
You see, as my husband is wrestling with them he is also developing in them an understanding of loyalty and chivalry. God made boys different than He made girls. He made them physically stronger, which gives them a very important job – to serve and protect.
Rough-housing also gives my boys the opportunity to learn how to control their strength. Wrestling matches with Daddy – which to me are broken lamps waiting to happen – are actually a wonderful tool that gives our sons confidence in how to use their (in their minds HUGE) muscles and how to use their God-given strength for good.
I have seen my son Rudy carry heavy boxes for ladies – all the while staring at his muscles to see how big they were. I have seen him stand in front of a Nerf gun (it was so dramatic!) to “take the bullet” that was meant for someone else. I have heard him talking to his baby sister in another room, telling her that “if anyone ever tries to get you, I’ll fight them!”
I love the fierce lion that lives inside of my boys.
2. Helping
Oh how I have struggled in my attitude toward this one. “Helping.”
For I am truly a rush and rush kind of person. You know that song? “I’m in a hurry to get things done, oh I rush and rush until life’s no fun…” (by Alabama)
Well, I oftentimes get so caught up on getting everything done in a timely manner that I make life no fun for my kids.
They want to learn. They want to help. They want to do what I’m doing.
As a stay-at-home-mom, what a wonderful opportunity I have been given to teach my kids and give them exposure to all sorts of neat things! When I want to be efficient and keep them clear of what I’m doing, I’m robbing them of training in life skills and just good ‘ol quality time with momma.
Allowing my boys to “help” as I cook or pull weeds or organize the silverware drawer can serve to drive home a love of hard work. A good work ethic is a quality greatly admired by God and greatly needed in our country of dwindling hard workers…and if the kitchen is a little messier because my sons helped me prepare dinner, it is well worth it if they were filled with a satisfaction from their work.
3. Inviting everyone in
My boys know no boundaries when it comes to inviting neighbors into our home. As we are out front playing in the yard, kids of all ages will be riding their bikes or walking down the street. Rudy sees them and instantly calls out, “Hey! Would you like to come in? Come play with my stuff; come have a snack!”
And with that, my little “host” has just brought in 15 hungry, sweaty, thirsty neighborhood kids. And it is 5:15 – right when I am to start cooking dinner, which is when I like for my kids to sit quietly and watch a movie.
How refreshing that my boys are not enslaved to keeping a tight household schedule or maintaining quiet “perfection” in our home. They see kids. They see opportunity. They invite them in.
I pray that their hospitable attitude is one that I not only champion, but learn from! It is risky to my own convenience to bring in kids at inopportune times; but it is risky to my own heart and perspective not to.
4. Asking
Everyday, there are four things that I pray for my momma self: Energy, Creativity, Patience, and Wisdom. Everyone one of those things pertains to the incredible amount and variety of questions that my kids ask me every day.
I forget that my children are still so young, and that everything is still so new to them. I am like a tour guide, explaining to them every new sound, new smell, new taste, new experience. How not fun would it be to visit a foreign country and have a grumpy tour guide who didn’t want to answer any questions?? Isn’t that what they are there for?!?
If I give in to my selfishness and ignore or pass off their questions, I am single-handedly squashing their love for learning. But, with the help of Christ, if I exercise patience and affection towards my curious little kids and their arsenal of questions, my enthusiasm could ignite in them a desire to learn and study and seek answers and truth.
5. Giving away everything
Rudy, bless his heart, literally gives gifts to every person that comes into our home. And when I say “gifts”, I mean he’ll empty his piggy bank and hand someone a pile of quarters. Or he’ll get into my jewelry box and hand a visitor one of my family heirloom bracelets. Or he’ll make sure that everyone that came over got a screwdriver out of my husband’s tool box.
It has taken me a while, but I have come to be okay with this. Now before you think I’m crazy, I do quietly ask back (without Rudy hearing) for the family heirlooms and tools, but if Rudy desperately wants to give away his favorite toy, I let him.
What good will it serve him if I teach him to cling tightly to every little material possession? I would much rather he give to a fault, than to hoard to a fault. Jesus said so Himself, “It is much better to give than to receive.” It is the very reflection of God Himself, who gave His own Son.
As we raise our sons, may we see them as God sees them…as He made them. They are boys, and they are to be filled with courage, honor, and a love for their Savior and others.
They will show us their boyishness in messy ways. In inconvenient ways. But that is okay. We are their mommas and have been given the task of seeing them through.
