I see you.
You see me.
We are both clearly exhausted…just trying to make it through another day of keeping our kids and ourselves on the straight and narrow.
A few words are exchanged.
“So how is homeschooling going?”
“It’s so great! Well, it’s really hard. I don’t know what I’m doing. I get angry and impatient. And Little Johnny just keeps talking about wanting to go to “real kid” school.”
“Oh, I know you can do it! You are such a good teacher and I’ve seen you come up with the neatest little crafts for the kids at Sunday school. And you have really good handwriting. Don’t you worry…everything is going to be fine.”
And so we depart. There is a momentary puff of cool breeze in our face as we reflect on the encouragement that was shared. “You are so great. You can do it. You have really good handwriting.”
But it was momentary.
And it maybe even had some unexpected, nasty side effects.
You see, by heaping praise and admiration and accolades upon one another – all with the best of intentions – we unknowingly are offering a glass of salt water to a parched friend. The glass of water looks refreshing…it looks like just the right thing to make everything better.
But that glass of water will not satisfy. Worse, it intensifies our thirst. For we were not made to ingest and be hydrated by salt water – which works against our bodies. Rather, when we thirst there is only one cure — pure, untainted, life-giving water.
So back to running into one another.
You are a parched, weary momma. I hear your anxiety, I get your exhaustion, and truly I want to help.
So I did what seemed best. I offered you encouragement in the way of a friendly pick-me-up. I reminded you of your capability. I pointed you back to…well, you.
I essentially handed you a big, warm glass of salt water and told you to drink up.
But just like your body is not meant to be satisfied by salty water, your spirit is not meant to be satisfied, fulfilled, restored by the flowery words of another.
Now that just seems totally illogical, doesn’t it? How could kind words from an empathizing momma not be just the fix for a rotten day??
I’ll tell you why. Have you ever experienced this thought…”I have received so many compliments and so much encouragement today! I don’t think I’ll ever need to hear a word of praise again!”
No. That thought has never passed through your head…or any human being’s head. Ever.
That’s because no matter how much admiration we receive from one another, it’s never enough. The compliment fades, we become anxious again, and we’re right back to where we started.
BUT…
…there are some words – not mine – that are just what you need…that are just the fix for a rotten day.
“…but whoever drinks of the water that I [Jesus] will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” John 4:14
When weary mommas encounter one another, there is something wonderful that they can give one another…the true and pure encouragement that comes only from wildly pointing to Jesus and exclaiming – “Look at Him! He has conquered everything and now He extends His reward to you! Look at Him!”
That means there is freedom from performing! There is freedom from living up to the impossible bar that human affirmation sets!
Our energy is limited. His is not.
Our patience is limited. His is not.
Our love, affection, gifts, abilities, creativity, handwriting…all limited. But – for a follower of King Jesus – the same spirit of a LIMITLESS God resides in you. There is rest in that.
Truly remarkable.
The most wonderful, attractive, amazing thing about any of us is Jesus. Let’s point out that quality in each other instead.
“For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. And I was with you in weakness and in fear and much trembling, and my speech and my message were not in plausible words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, so that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God.” 1 Cor. 2:2-5
So if I could get a re-do on our previous conversation, it would go something like this…
“Friend, homeschooling is trying, but your Savior will see you through. And He will make you more beautiful and capable in the process! Lean on Him and the people He has put in your life. How can I help?”
“As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and appear before God?” Psalm 42:1-2
