My buddy John Piper said something along these lines:
“I would rather my son remember me as a ‘doormat’,
as someone who gave out a dollar to anyone who asked,
rather than him remember me as the most frugal person he ever knew.”
Hmm.
Why in the world would any red-blooded, bona fide American say something like that?? Opting to live as a “doormat” sounds like a terrible, wasted-life kind of idea.
We live in a time in which sharing is enabling, offering a helping hand can be dangerous, and getting involved can leave you burned…so, the sensible thing to always do is KEEP TO YO SELF.
This is what a self-preserving, nest-egg-loving society counsels us to do:
- A neighbor wants to talk as you’re loading kids into the van? Be frugal with your time — get out of the conversation quickly and go where you need to go.
- You overhear of a family that could use a meal? Be frugal with your money — there is no extra room in the food budget.
- A new kid in the neighborhood wants to play with your kid and his toys? Be frugal with your belongings — you never know when the new kid in the neighborhood is a “thieving delinquent.”
- Someone actually answers your “How Are You?” honestly? Be frugal with your emotions — being vulnerable is risky and uncomfortable.
What a tempting (and seemingly wise) way to live…a frugal life guarantees financial, emotional, and physical safety!
In contrast to living the “frugal life,” however, the lavish life is to see all that you are and all that you have as belonging to Another. Our King, by taking care of our deepest needs, has put us in a position in which we no longer need to hoard our emotions, hold back our hospitality, or withhold our gifts and abilities.
“Generosity is impossible apart from our love of God and of His people.
But with such love, generosity not only is possible but inevitable.”
~ John MacArthur
This brings me to my 5-year-old.
If I saw myself and the world around me the way that my son does, I would…
- …invite every stranger walking down our street over for dinner, without a thought to whether we “have enough” or not.
- …be filled with excitement at the thought of someone just dropping by, no matter what we were previously up to.
- …trust the story of “Jesus’s Miracle Of Feeding The 5000” so deeply that I literally give away what I have at the moment.
- …not be thinking of what I need to be doing or where I need to be going every time that I am “interrupted” by someone.
I would not be frugal with my life.
My beloved 5-year-old has not yet felt the chains of constantly attempting to grasp for more, to create more, to achieve more, to control more. He lives in the freedom of enjoying generosity. (obviously he has his greedy little 5-year-old moments)
Giving is hard! And for busy mommas, I believe I can safely say that being generous with our time is much more difficult than sharing our things. When I am interrupted or thrown off schedule because of someone entering my crazy world, I feel chaotic, almost used. But, as I am seeing in the beautiful response of my son in the same situation, my time is meant for giving, not for hoarding.
Christ has bought everything for me. He purchased my need to create achievement. So now, my life and my time can be used to share.
I am freed up to be a doormat.
What a radical and weird thing to say!
I will struggle, probably for the rest of my life, but my heart is that I would welcome the unexpected visitor, that I would share our food without concern if there will be enough for leftovers, that I would chat with a friend when I am “in a hurry.” And I take courage in knowing that “He who began a good work in me will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” (Phil. 1:6)
Like John Piper said, I would rather my son remember me as a doormat than as a frugal Scrooge.
“He is no fool, who gives up what he cannot keep
to gain what he can’t lose.”
~ Jim Elliot
Super quick disclaimer: Obviously, there is wisdom in giving. Do not give – of your money, time, emotions – when you truly shouldn’t. This post was not written to say otherwise…it was written for those of us who struggle with living in the disclaimer.
Additional posts that you might enjoy:
- Extending Love To Children Beyond Your Own
- When My Bathroom Is Cleaner Than My Heart
- Regrets That I Will Never Have
- Mediocre Ever After??
Photo credits: here
